This poem is like a pivotal fulcrum for me. One morning probably around two months after my daughter had been born I was getting ready to go to work. My son and new baby both had to be dropped off at the daycare home. I was faced with the overwhelming task of picking up the mess left behind by a substitute teacher who had unexpectedly had to stay weeks longer because I had ended up hospitalized for postpartem psychosis. That morning it felt like too much. I'd bought a box of Unisom pills and was seriously thinking about downing the whole lot.
Then I looked at my children, two beautiful, innocent children who would never understand why mommy was asleep, why mommy wasn't going to ever wake up. It was something they didn't deserve, something I realized I could not allow to happen. So in spite of the terrible pain, the fear, that tremendous want to no longer be I chose to go on.
Sad as it may seem, it is a message of hope. I knew I had a reason to hold on even when I could not see how there could ever be any hope. That vision I had of my children was a gift from God, reminding me of what was most important.
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