A Message to My Son

One of my best friends is my son.  He is witty, intelligent, handsome, deeply devoted, and most importantly he has a vast, sincere desire to do what is right.  To be honest, there are many times when I don't know how I would have gotten by without him.

Just like all of our clan, he has his own set of mental issues.  He is in the process of working through some challenges.  (Aren't we all?)  But as a mother, it seems all too natural for me to be doling out advice which, it occurred to me, might be useful to more than just him. (Or just irritating, but I'll ignore that option.)  So here goes . . .

First, if you need medical help, get it.  Don't put it off.  Don't lie to yourself that you don't really need it, or that it costs too much.  It costs too much if you DON'T take care of it.

Second, pray.  I have always found that through sincere prayer you are NEVER alone.

Third, don't isolate yourself.  Socialize! Socialize! Socialize!  I don't entirely know why it is so important for we humans to have and maintain connections with other humans, but it is absolutely, unquestionably, essential.  Crib death seems to be some rather sombering evidence of that fact.  Studies have shown that something as simple as the human touch, getting a massage, holding hands, wrestling, literally make a difference in our mental well being.

Depression, anixety, whatever ailment you wish to label it, will always tell you others don't want you around, that others don't care, and that you don't matter.  Instead, think of it this way:  Every other person feels the way you feel.  What would you want them to do for you?  It's the old Biblical adage, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Do to them what you would want them to do keeping in mind that it is something they need.  It isn't about what you are going to get out of it.  What you are doing is about them.

You will forget yourself.  The problems others face will suddenly appear and you'll realize that maybe you don't have it so bad.  Maybe they really do need you just as much as you need them.

Three is enough for now.  I have a terrible habit of trying to take on everything all at once.  It's either conquer the world or nothing. (Yes, that smacks of bipolarism.  They say I'm type two.)  In truth, progress comes one step, one minute, one hour, one class period, one work day, at a time.  The hardest part is to keep on trying.  Never give up.

Oops. I think I let a fourth one slip.  Better stop now before it happens again.