Biofeedback

Just a minute ago I was letting my dogs out to do their business.  As I stood there I noticed how without even thinking I had my shoulders completely hunched up hiked into tight knots.  So, as I've taught myself over the years, I practiced biofeedback. The simplest definition of biofeedback is how a person can pay attention to their autonomic functions and then influence how those autonomic functions operate.  In this instance I relaxed my shoulder muscles.  It sounds simple, but it isn't easy.

Personally, I have a nasty tendancy to hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and jaw.  Sometimes I stop breathing, or I breathe too fast.  By paying attention to myself, my own bodily reactions I can often reverse many negative effects.  For example, if the shoulder thing goes unchecked for too long, I end up with upper back pain.  Headaches come along.  Even worse, the tension builds, spreading to other parts of my body at times when I really, really need to relax - like when I'm trying to go to sleep.

When I was a kid my dad was really into children's theater.  He was a theater professor, so I got exposed to a lot of theatrical exercises including all the trust and relaxation stuff.  Because of theater I learned how to talk someone through a relaxation exercise so I could practice it on myself or share it with others.  Most beneficially I was able to do relaxation exercises with my kids. 

My son was a bit of a nightmare when it came to going to bed.  He was wound up pretty tight in general.  Years later we found out he had chronic anxiety.  When he was a child, however, I was always able to get him to relax by going through a relaxation exercise with him.  As he got older there were times when he would ask me to do it with him to help him calm down.

Of course, I've been working on this practically all of my life and, as I said, just a minute ago I caught myself with my shoulders hunched up.  Just recognizing the problem can be a big help.  Teaching yourself to change is an ongoing process, but I believe it is well worth the effort.