A Word About Psychologists

I’ll tell you point blank, I don’t like psychologists. My overall experience has been that they tend to make more problems for you, not resolve the ones you already have. Just recently my daughter was hospitalized for a relatively minor problem. The hospital counselors were saying that she urgently needed to have ‘family counseling,’ that she had some seriously messed up issues with her two siblings.

Okay, I already knew she had some issues with her siblings. I also knew those sibling issues were getting blown way out of proportion because of her momentary mental state. What she really needed was to get the right combination of meds working for her. Once that was in place, anything with her brother and sister would fix itself as well as it could be fixed.

That’s been my experience almost every time someone has been hospitalized. Because there is mandatory counseling involved it’s like the counselors have to validate themselves by making problems for the patients. My other daughter was told she had huge problems with her father. All of a sudden, on top of all the distress she had in the first place, she was even more upset. Sure, she did have a little problem with her dad, but it was nothing like what they were making it out to be. Once again, as soon as she was mentally stable and had the right meds, there was no problem.

I’ve had the same thing happen to me. Blame has been placed on my parents, my husband, my religion, when in truth, all of those factors were by far more helpful and supportive than they could have ever been damaging. That kind of thing infuriates me. The terminology I use is that counseling is more retroactive than proactive.

Even in the case of people who do have legitimate, traumatic experiences which have left them emotionally crippled, they need positive things they can do to overcome those hard times. If the discussion isn’t bringing the individual closer to healing, what is the point? A counselor cannot become obtusely engrossed in the problem itself. I daresay all kinds of so called counselors have made all kinds of money off of simply listening to people go on and on about themselves and their problems. The patient leaves feeling better because there is a cathartic effect which comes from having someone simply listen. In the long run, however, they’re not any closer to an actual resolution.

In order to get better you need more than a listener. What you need is someone who can realistically help you to identify your problems, then provide you with the steps you need to take to overcome those problems. There are counselors out there who can be very helpful. The trick is in finding someone who will work well for you.