Finding a Good Counselor or Therapist

Finding the right person for you can be tough. First, if such services are covered by your health plan, you need to be sure to find someone within your health plan. I would suggest that instead of looking up the list of providers online or listed by your insurance, first ask friends, neighbors, and co-workers if they know of anyone good. Make calls to the offices people suggest, asking if they take your insurance plan. Usually they will. If not, move on to the next most popular referral until you do find someone who will work.

The same principle applies to people who may not have insurance coverage. You are going to want the most bang for your buck. Get the same referrals from your friends, then call and ask about cash pay discounts that may be available. It may take you some time making phone calls, but in the end you could save yourself a lot of money and heartache.

One thing to consider is the gender of the therapist. If you call in to a group of therapists that is the first question you’ll be asked. Do you want a man or a woman? You may be more comfortable with a woman than you are with a man or vice versa. For myself, I’ve come to find that men tend to be more logical and less emotional. Women are generally empathetic and understanding. The best therapists for me have always been men. They suit my personality, filling my need for logical efficiency. I even prefer therapeutic self help books written by men rather than women. Thus far, all of my kids have done better with men as well. You, however, will have your own set of needs, so this is something you need to seriously consider.

Once you’ve found someone do not think the matter is finished. Your first visit will be a big indicator as to whether you will get along with this person or not. Based on my own experience it takes at least three separate visits before you know for certain if a person is really a good match for you or not.

At one time I went to a great deal of trouble trying to find the best possible person for my daughter. I checked every possible resource. This lady was supposed to be a big specialist in dealing with teenagers with my daughter’s specific kind of problem. For the first appointment I went with her to see how well they did with each other. A couple of appointments later my daughter called me up, sobbing uncontrollably because of something the therapist had said. After a great deal of discussion I finally figured out that the therapist and my daughter did not understand each other when it came to religion. The therapist was telling her what she thought my daughter needed, when in fact, her comments were making her feel far worse. It was not the fault of the therapist, or my daughter, or either person’s religion for that matter. They just did not understand each other.

In truth, my daughter had to go to three different therapists before she was able to find someone who was right for her. Now that she has the right person, she’s finally seeing her problems for what they are and taking steps toward doing what she can to help herself get better.

Be patient. Be persistent. Eventually you’ll find the right person. Don’t give up.