Know Your Limits

If you think life is hard as a young parent, even as the parent of a teenager, you are in for a rude awakening when you become the parent of an adult.  All of a sudden the controls you've been accustomed to having are gone.  You can't tell your kid what to do - well, you can, but it doesn't mean much.  There comes a time when you have to let go and accept the fact that your kid isn't a kid any more.  He or she needs to make their own decisions, their own mistakes, and live with them without you to cushion the fall.

You know that story about the little boy who's father is in a dark hole.  The father calls to him, telling him to jump into his arms, saying he'll be safe because his dad will catch him.  The boy jumps.  Dad catches him. Happy ending. It's supposed to be all about faith.

Well, with the adult child you have to say - hey kid, there's the hole; jump if you want; if you break your leg I'm sorry, it's your choice, but I'm not down there waiting to catch you.  The lesson is still about faith - having faith in your kid.  That doesn't make it any easier.  I remember back when I left home.  I made some stupid mistakes, paid the price for them, all while my poor parents had to watch. Like the wonderful parents they always were, they always supported me regardless of my own foolishness.

Big sigh.

That's the way it is with anyone you love who's all grown up.  You can tell them what to do until you're blue in the face.  You can break your back trying to save them from themselves, but in the end, no matter how hard you try, the only person who can make change happen is the person.

It's a good plan.  God made it up.  I trust Him.  I wouldn't want anyone to take away my right to choose, so why should I ever think to take something so precious from anyone else?

All of this is from a very emotionally drained person, so if it sounds dreary, I'm sincerely sorry.  It's just a harsh lesson I'm learning - kind of like drinking through a fire hose right now.  I'm losing my kids to that dark hole they're jumping into.  I don't know the outcome.  It scares me.  I honestly believe in the end, things will work out great.  We all have our insecure moments.  This one is mine.